Friday 13 February 2015

Ndagaya : Weird Phobias

FYINdagaya means I have pondered or I have been pondering  in my mother tounge, Shona.

I have this phobia ..ya'lls can't laugh because as you can see, its not just me. So ndagaya, how did it start? I have a theory...I blame my Dad and I'm going to tell you why.

Once upon a time almost 2 decades ago b.p ( before phobia), lol . That's a dry one, shout out to Kashiri. It was that long ago when my  little brother decided to take the longest INSANE route from our primary school to the house. See our house is close to the railway line, about 200m or so and the little brat (5 years old, Grade 1) was well ,smart enough to figure out that those where the same tracks that were close to the school. Distance from house to school ......hmm I don't know, far like, 10km maybe. Anyway one fateful day he decides to hang with the boarders (boarding scholars) at the infants block even after 1pm when the seniors (me in Grade 6) finished class. I couldn't find him at the rendezvous point, obviously,  and I am no psychic so I had no idea where he was. After asking around, looking around I gathered he'd gone home. My the taxi (those old peugeot cars) I had decided to take (last one for the day) was pulling out of the school, lo and behold we see the little brat running towards the gate. We were packed like potato sacks, I exaggerate not. We could barely breathe in there. Tried to stop the driver to no avail. So we left the poor child behind ....ok writing this now I feel bad for the kid. Having never gone home alone before he must have been real scared. He had options though,  to walk to the nearest garage, grab a taxi,drop of at the local shops and walk home (easy peasy) or just stay put. Just putting it out there.

I remember being furious at the damn driver and pissed at the little brat . I was so angry at the time up to let's just say my boiling point, then I zoned out. Boy I do have such a weird coping mechanism or what. So got home the maid asked where little brat was ...epic response, lol "am I my brother's keeper" . Really, who does that!!! kkkk, I know the answer to that Cain, the one who murdered his twin brother (bible) (cringe). Oh damn (light bulb moment) It might be my fault  I have the phobia after all..sigh. Oh well since I had already started telling the story I shall finish.

I went out to play,can you believe that. Forgot about the little brat and all things stressful. When it got dark  I went back home and nobody was there. Decided to be an angel and prepare supper. Little did I know that the whole time I was out having some me time, a search party was out looking for the baby. The headmistress even...THE HORROR. Alas he was nowhere to be found. They would have if he hadn't decided to walk to the railway line and follow the track home. 4/5 hours later the eagle landed, waaay before the search party. He just said hi to me and was off to play..He is weird too right.(I think he is)

Me: "Evening daddy (grin) look I'm making supper " Dad: "(grunts)" punches me in the face and walks past. There I was thinking "MUM DID YOU SEE THAT!!!" , but wait why was everyone coming in together...Then it hit me, I was in trouble. They made me fetch my own stick from our beautiful Peach tree (tree is FINE, and the fruit it bears hmm mm mm ). Anyhow they made the little brat narrate his sob story, which he did with all the dramatic effects known to man. My dad beat me ...I think I died. All this while the little brat kept chanting, "and I walked, it was far, nye nye nye nye nye" I swear he sounded just like that. Mum was just there looking while I screamed my lungs out. Actually I don't remember making any sound at all (I am not a screamer hey, wink).

So yea got me my first (and last) good hiding and thus my phobia of swinging things was birthed, I think, not so sure now. Writing this story has made me see things in a different light. The little brat, not soo little now, lol... funny thing he said to me a few weeks ago " I'm not a child any more, I'm  flipping turning 21 for crying out loud!!" pdn (pidigu dhi nekuseka)  Heavens have mercy, the day he turns 25 (shudder) .  Anyhu he still teases me about my phobia to date. Guys its weird but yet so real.

My dad has never beat me again since and I have stayed away from everything remotely similar to trouble (shrug). I have never been in a fight though... NOTE : "To all my suitors out there, if you so much as clench your fists at me, deal breaker!"

Seriously thought I would hate brother dearest till the day of my death, that is before discovered a special kind of unconditional love associated with having no choice. kkkk, Shout out to you Adolf Shingi (my one and only sibling), mazirudo! You too dad, mazirudo (lots of love) and you are forgiven. lol